Limyaael ([info]limyaael) wrote,
@ 2004-02-13 09:22:00
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Current mood: determined
Entry tags:characterization rants: secondaries, fantasy rants: winter 2004

Character introduction and interaction.
I've done dialogue, I've done secondary characters, but I've read so many books lately that irritated me with the smaller things that I think these parts are still to be said.

Random Superstition/Belief: People who saw elves in the woods were once warned not to accept gifts of gold from them. Any gold they gave would turn to fallen leaves by morning.



The first part of this will cover introduction.

1) Don't try to introduce too large a group all at once. Some authors seem to feel this can't be avoided, and so we get a long list of names and descriptions. This would be one thing if it were done for effect, to give an impression of, say, noble names or the kinds of clothes the characters were wearing, but all too often these characters show back up again. Lord Leonardo may not be important on page 50, but if he comes back on page 200, the author will expect you to know who he is. And she will also probably expect you to remember that he's the brother of Lady Sissindra, and likes wearing blue clothes, and so on. All too often I've had the unpleasant experience of saying, "Huh?" when the author drops a hint like an anvil, and then I'm forced to read that rushed introduction scene again to understand what she's talking about.

It's better to bring in significant characters with more fanfare than less significant ones, and it's better to introduce them in ones and pairs when possible. That way, you solve two problems for your reader: he's better able to keep track of names and faces, and he's better able to know who will be important to the story and whom he can safely forget about. This might spoil a tiny bit of suspense, especially if the author drops anvils about a certain character being a traitor or spy, but it will save your readers the impatience of going back and trying to figure out exactly what is going on.

2) Let the introductory description depend on the circumstances of the meeting. It's amazing how many fantasy heroes, while running from their enemies and into the arms of a Helpful Stranger, will still have time to look at the Helpful Stranger and notice every detail of their eye color, hair style, and clothes. Save the descriptions for the time when the character would actually have the leisure to speak them, and when he could plausibly care more about that than anything else. While he's running for his life is not the time for him to notice that his rescuer has violet eyes.

Also, consider the kind of place that the hero and the new character meet in. If it's dark, exactly how is he supposed to notice that she has violet eyes at all? Or auburn hair? If she's behind him, how is he supposed to notice every detail of her clothes? If it's in a dungeon, and the character is described as looking "pretty," then I have the urge to laugh. (Then I have the urge to kick the author). If it's in daylight or firelight and the character hasn't been traveling through the wild for weeks, then he or she could conceivably look pretty good. Otherwise, how is the hero supposed to know that the heroine's hair is ordinarily an insanely bright red, and long and straight and smooth? It wouldn't look that way coated with grime and bound around her head for easier traveling.

3) Don't make the new character understandable in a single first impression. Whether it's a case of that tiresome old cliché about appearances being deceptive or the case of a canon Mary Sue/Marty Stu hero who never gets anything wrong, there are far too many characters in fantasy who tumble squarely into a personality stereotype. This is obvious from moments of the main character looking them in the eye. It doesn't necessarily have to be a personality stereotype that corresponds to their looks; the character could look effeminate and not be gay. But if the protagonist senses a "hidden strength" in them, they will not turn out to be weak. If they're cheerful, they do not turn out to have dark pasts. This is A Rule.

It's a Rule that especially needs to be broken.

Consider. Is there anyone whom you've known for years and who has never surprised you? Did you really know everything about them in the first moment you saw them? Or did you honestly think that they were completely one thing and then have them turn out to be the complete opposite?

Most people are not so perfectly perceptive or perfectly blind. Have a balance between them for both your protagonist and the new character, and if they're in association for a good part of the book, have the new character develop unexpected depths. The best kinds of dark pasts, secret weaknesses, and so on are the ones that author surprises me with, not the ones I can guess within one page of meeting the character.

For interaction:

4) Add in non-dialogue, non-adverb cues. Sometimes, there's really no other way to put something than "Give me the sword!" he said angrily." But most of the time, adverb and dialogue are only shortcuts the authors take. There are other ways, more vivid ones, to show your character's emotions.

Study body language. Note the way people act when interested in a conversation: leaning forward, widening their eyes, nodding at appropriate places, laughing, focusing intently on the person telling the story. Or notice the way that people act when trying to intimidate others: coiled body tension, clenched fists, direct and hostile eye contact, lowering their voice. Not everyone will have all the signals, but you can mix and match them as necessary to create a unique "body persona" for your character.

Not every character should have to say things "angrily" or "straightforwardly," or snort or moan or mumble instead of speak all the time. Show your readers how they move, how they listen, how they argue.

5) Change group interactions subtly when a new character shows up. Many authors are good at doing this in a dramatic fashion, such as showing a kissing couple leaping apart when someone new walks into the room. But the subtler dynamics are something they don't think about. Two people speak to each other exactly as three people do, and two groups of three speak the exact same way.

In real life, it's not like that. Sometimes the group will slow down the conversation and make a place for the new person in it. Other times, they'll ignore him. They might avoid certain subjects now that the new person has come. They might adopt slight shifts of persona; if Lyona knows Dara as a sweet, fun-loving person, but Dara is ordinarily more open and nastier in front of Georg, Dara will probably adopt a mix of the two when Lyona enters her conversation with Georg. This isn't always going to be a conscious decision. Many of us have personas we slip into. Who we are at work isn't who we are at home, and neither of them is the same person we are on the Internet. Try to think about what kinds of personas your character is willing to adopt, and how thoroughly she would adopt them. Perhaps Dara is a little irritated at being interrupted by Lyona, and will say things just this side of risqué, or share private jokes with Georg.

6) Don't make the characters into active speakers and passive listeners. The only exception to this I can think of is when the characters have a master-and-servant relationship, and even then, it's unlikely the servant will never ask questions, or only ask the appropriate ones. When the protagonist pulls out her agonizingly long tale of abuse without questions or remarks or thoughts from the character she's speaking to, I become suspicious. The author seems to have forgotten about the other character and his or her likely actions. Other times, the person, even if he's a perfect stranger, interrupts with only exclamations of horror, or asks questions that are totally and completely out of character (like the bandit captors who suddenly become sympathetic when they hear all about their captive's sucky childhood). This glorifies the protagonist at the expense of the other character. Make him or her just as able to have his or her own thoughts, ask stupid or wrong questions, or, wonder of wonders, not really pay attention. This is especially true if he or she isn't used to being the passive listener in a conversation. Dara shouldn't tame all her thoughts and just listen to Lyona's if she is aggressive and used to being heard.



Maybe more on this tomorrow. I just have to think of more things that annoy me.




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[info]otakukeith
2004-02-13 04:05 pm UTC (link)
This is *incredibly* useful. Have you archived these rants anywhere, or do you plan to?

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[info]limyaael
2004-02-14 03:27 am UTC (link)
Some of the older ones are here:

Fantasy Rants

I haven't updated it in a long time, though... really must get to work on that...

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[info]rusty76
2004-02-13 04:18 pm UTC (link)
These are really great posts - thank you for sharing your (eminently sensible) thoughts.

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[info]budclare
2004-02-14 10:04 pm UTC (link)
I'm assuming that these hypothetical meetings with elves are meant to take place at night, making it difficult to spend the money by dawn. I guess.

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[info]limyaael
2004-02-14 10:24 pm UTC (link)
Yep. In most of the stories, the farmer (or whoever) would meet the elves in the woods, receive a gift of gold, dance with them until dawn, and then return home at sunrise, only to find out that the light of the sun turned the gold to fallen leaves, or dirt, or twigs.

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[info]budclare
2004-02-15 01:22 am UTC (link)
But, assuming that you'd managed to make a run for it with the gold, there's the distinct possibility that the terms of the enchantment are quite specific (e.g. it only lasts while the "gold" is in the forest and/or any source of light other than the moon will break the spell) and in trying to find a way to spend the money, you'd only make it revert faster, and probably cause you to embarrass yourself in front of the whole village.

Besides, it's obvious that the real moral of the story is that you should never trust anyone who frolicks around a forest in the middle of the night naked/semi-naked.

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[info]budclare
2004-02-15 03:39 am UTC (link)
They might be trustworthy, but they are also clearly insane. Therefore it's probably best to maintain a safe distance at all times.

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[info]budclare
2004-02-15 11:14 pm UTC (link)
For elves, sex is like life... It lasts a really long time.

Anyway, crazy naked women don't have the same connotations as crazy naked men.

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[info]dreamsnake21
2006-01-25 07:56 pm UTC (link)
maybe that is why the 24 hour super-walmart was invented. heh.

*cut to whiny acne covered walmart cashier* "but really, i don't know WHY my register is off! i swear i took money from everyone!" "i do TOO know how to count!" "no, really boss, i swear, these people came in with funny looking gold coins.. they said they were replacing the Sacajawea gold dollar.. i took them as payment.. but, but, they're GONE... i don't know HOW it happened.. and i have *no idea* how all this dirt and crap got in the register"

hahahah... i have a weak spot for torturing walmart employess.. i really do.

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[info]roz_mcclure
2004-02-15 05:49 am UTC (link)
*[info]metaquoteses you*

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[info]bbhtryoink
2004-02-13 07:56 pm UTC (link)
Re #3:

It's lots of fun to actually flat out break sterotypes. Such as, one of the things that really hit me on the head with Tolkiens books was that Strider (Aragorn) was actually introduced in the guise of an "evil" stranger: clothed all in black, listening in corners, doing odd and potentially dangerous-for-the-Ring-quest things. And then he reveals himself as Aragorn, and the turnaround from mysterious, evil stranger to helpful, good companion is a realistic and believable one.

Cool stuff!

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[info]limyaael
2004-02-14 03:27 am UTC (link)
I like Tolkien's whole "I would seem fairer and feel fouler" mantra, mostly because it really does seem to fit into his world. I've seen other fantasy authors try to use it, but they mostly wind up writing variations of the "appearances are deceptive" cliché.

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[info]not_stephanie
2004-02-15 06:02 am UTC (link)
The real surprise in Tolkien is book-verse Faramir, who is introduced as the most unhelpful, belligerent obstacle for Frodo and Sam, but then turns out to be extremely valiant and tricsky, if I may say so. (Tolkien really had a knack for making the "appearances are deceiving" bit a lot more realistic, and a lot less predictable; I completely agree.)

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[info]bbhtryoink
2004-02-15 05:37 pm UTC (link)
Whats the difference?

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[info]limyaael
2004-02-15 05:50 pm UTC (link)
*shrug* It's probably pretty personal, so I can only tell you what I think. I'm sure there are some people who don't think Tolkien was as successful as I think he was, and others who do enjoy the fantasy authors I think fail at it.

The difference, for me, is that there is a genuineness in the first appearance, and certainly understandable motives as to why the character might truly be "foul," that the other authors don't have. In the case of Aragorn, he is dangerous; he's a Man, greater in size and strength than the hobbits, and they have no reason to anticipate his coming. Also, when we understand who he is, we understand the temptation for him to take the Ring and use it to win back his Kingdom. For Faramir, he projects the same aura of human danger, as well as the ability to keep Sam and Frodo from the most vital part of their Quest, and he has his grief over Boromir and his love for Gondor to drive him to take the Ring. It would be perfectly understandable if Faramir had turned out like Boromir.

With other fantasy authors, they usually can't resist a kind of coy or teasing hint that "this character is not all he seems." Even before Moiraine and Lan reveal themselves to be what they are in the Wheel of Time, you know there's something special about them; they were never going to turn out to be just passing through, or a noble lady traveling on the road with her guard. Add to that the inability of the other characters to question their motivations- their actions, yes, but never their motivations- and I wasn't surprised at all by their fairness. Evil is evil and good is good in that story, and when Jordan tries to show them otherwise, he always slips up. He can't resist the temptation to give a hint that this innocent-looking woman is really a Forsaken reincarnated, or that the character who might possibly be good really is.

This might seem to go against what I said in the post about introducing significant characters with fanfare, but I think that, to truly be a surprise and not a cliché, that first appearance has to be as genuine as the author can make it. There has to be a chance that the character could really be evil/good, not the hint that spoils everything or little Miss Perfect Eyesight suspecting something that turns out to be true.

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[info]tavalya_ra
2004-02-14 02:18 am UTC (link)
This has nothing to do with anything, except that one of my main characters is named Dara.
::hugs Dara-muse::

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[info]akanaakazen
2007-02-20 01:57 am UTC (link)
If they're cheerful, they do not turn out to have dark pasts. This is A Rule.

I have a character who is ALWAYS smiling. I mean ALWAYS. He had a horrible past along the lines of being hated and ignored, etc.. and adopted smiling as a mask to hide his pain and emotions.

So.... he's cheerful with a dark past... Does that mean I broke a Rule? YAY!

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